Body Switch
by AmikaUchiha
Summary: "Just thought you should know Sakura-chan, that your dear Sasuke-kun is currently walking around your room and answering your door NAKED." rated M, SasxSak now with Bonus Chapter, enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Naruto's Ultimate Prank

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any other famous names mentioned in this story.

Naruto snickered. He'd finally managed to break back into the top secret hidden records room and write down a useful jutsu. Body Switch. This would be an amusing day...

Sasuke was waiting on the bridge looking bored as always. Since he'd returned, things had finally went back to a sense of normalcy, almost as if the past few years hadn't happened. Sakura was pacing and it was getting on his last nerve. His eye twitched but the stoic ninja kept his words at bay and merely sighed.

"Did you say something Sasuke-kun?" the pinkette asked hopefully, stopping pacing to face her crush.  
"No," was his sharp response.  
Sakura pouted for a moment and then resumed pacing. Sasuke glared at her and looked back down at the water.

Naruto watched from the bushes at a safe distance as he barely contained his "teehees" with a malicious grin on his face. He pulled out the piece of paper and started the jutsu focusing on Sakura and Sasuke...

Sasuke felt funny and then he noticed that he was pacing and stopped. What the...he thought. Directly ahead of him was his own body... His eyes darted around looking to see if maybe someone was around doing some weird genjutsu. He tried to activate his sharingan but nothing happened.  
He saw his body get up screaming with his voice as well. "What the hell is this!"

Sakura looked down only to see Sasuke's outfit on her..."Ummmm.." Her eyes widened as she saw her body standing in front of her looking as confused as she felt. She looked over the railing into the water and shrieked as she saw Sasuke's face looking back at her. She promptly fainted.

Sasuke gaped watching his body faint. Uchihas DID NOT faint. His eyes widened in horror as he saw a pink strand of hair blow in front of his eyes. "Oh hell no I'm not trapped in HER body..." Perhaps Uchihas did faint.

Naruto was laughing uncontrollably as BOTH of his victims fainted. He rolled on the ground and finally calmed himself down enough to approach and promptly douse water on both of their faces. He looked at Sasuke(Sakura lol) and yelled,"What the hell Teme? Why are you and Sakura-chan taking a nap?"(he snickered inside at his good acting skills patting himself on the back).

The pair both jumped up and glared at Naruto. Sasuke(in Sakura form) was the first to speak. "Dobe, we weren't taking a nap. Someone switched our bodies. I'm Sasuke you idiot!"

Sakura(in Sasuke form) paled. "How do we switch back?" She then crossed her(Sasuke's) legs and looked up horrified," Oh my, ummm, I think Sasuke-kun needs to use the restroom, we need to switch back NOW!"

Sasuke (in Sakura form) thought he was having a nervous breakdown. He blushed tomato red while sweat dropping eyes going so wide he thought they would pop out.

Sakura looked at Sasuke in her body and cocked her head a little," Wow, you know that is really unattractive when I do that. I don't know, maybe Sasuke-kun could go to the bathroom with me and I could keep my eyes shut?"

"NO!" Sasuke screamed,"just sit on the toilet and DO NOT LOOK AT OR TOUCH ANYTHING!" His mind revolting at the thought of him putting SAKURA'S hand there.

Naruto got real close to Sasuke (in Sakura form) and purred,"Is Teme bashful? hmmmm?" He received a new knot on his head for that one. Naruto decided to leave them like that for a week just for that. "Hey Sakura-chan," he looked at the newly raven haired kunochi with a sly grin,"remember, if you shake it more than three times you're playing with it."

Sasuke decided that it might be worth any punishment to kill him in that moment and narrowed his green eyes at the imbecile. Sakura just looked at Naruto, confusion written all over her face.

"but Sasuke-kun," Sakura timidly began, fearing the Uchiha's temper," what about wiping?"  
Naruto hit the ground roaring in laughter, tears pouring out of his eyes.

Sasuke hissed,"only if you crap." He missed his chidori he really did.

Sakura came out of the restroom and rejoined her team still blushing like a cherry. She looked peevishly at Sasuke who was giving her a Haruno version of his famous death glare. "I looked at or touched nothing." and then her gaze crashed to the floor.

"Keep it that way," Sasuke hissed.

Sakura could only manage to nod as she started tearing up. The stress of everything and then Sasuke-kun being mean to her in her own body overwhelmed her and she couldn't help the tears. Naruto immediately hugged Sakura and glared at Teme. "How dare you make my Sakura-chan cry, I'd kick your ass for that right now if you weren't in her body!"  
Weakly Sakura whispered,"thanks Naruto."

"Hn. Dobe."  
"Bastard!" Naruto retorted.

Kakashi arrived right at that moment. Only about half an hour late, for him it was early. He took in the scene before him. Naruto was hugging a crying Sasuke and glaring at Sakura while Sakura glared at the both of them. His eye twitched, perhaps he should stop reading so much Icha Icha and sleep more, apparently he was hallucinating.  
"O...k... so are we role playing today or do I need to get a psychiatrist for the team?" Kakashi asked in an obviously disturbed way.

Naruto looked at Sakura and jumped back, blushing like a cherry. Sasuke seethed, pretty sure that steam was coming from his ears at that point, he knew his face...scratch that... Sakura's face probably looked like a lobster.

Naruto looked at Kakashi who was still waiting for an explanation of their weird behavior. He sighed, "somehow Sakura and Teme's bodies were switched."

Kakashi started laughing. Sasuke narrowed his eyes on his sensei, "traitor," he thought becoming even more livid.

After training, Sasuke slammed into Sakura's room. He couldn't believe the rotten turn of events. He looked in the full length mirror silently thanking Kami that that bastard Itachi wasn't alive to see this. He would probably relish in any opportunity to further humiliate and terrorize him. Now because of the body switch, he had to switch rooms with her and her pink bedsheets were annoying him to no end already. He'd been thinking about a shower and then it hit him, he was in Sakura's body...How in the hell was he supposed to accomplish something as simple as a shower? He'd trained hard today and really worked up a sweat now he'd have to go around stinking. He'd wondered why Naruto had kept staring at him all day with an evil smirk. "Note to self, destroy Naruto."

Sakura stepped into Sasuke's room, and sighed. The walls were bare, plain white sheets, boring. The only furniture, was a bed, desk and chair, and a dresser which had multiple shirts all white with Uchiha symbol on the back. She couldn't resist looking through Sasuke's things. Nothing interesting, big shocker there, although the fact that he wore briefs and not boxers was intriguing. Black briefs for the most part and only one pair of boxers, they had blue ducks on them. She grinned and moved on to the desk. Man she was sweaty and needed a shower. Ugh, oh well. She grinned and grabbed a towel.

Sasuke was annoying himself. He'd tried exercise for a while, training, but was bored. He began looking around Sakura's room for a while. He'd read her diary and his eyes were starting to hurt from rolling them so much at all her flowery sentiments in his general direction and glaring so much when her diary kept getting downright perverted. He finally could take no more and got up to go to his room where he had real entertainment, like books on chakra control, he'd boot Sakura out when he got there.

Sakura had blow dried Sasuke's hair into it's usual chicken-ass shape leaving it barely damp, she'd only put on his ducky boxers and wierd green and yellow striped socks and was currently rocking out to Britney Spears and sliding across the floor in Sasuke's socks using a hairbrush as a microphone. She'd put on Sasuke-kun's Men In Black style shades for the performance as well. "Sasuke-kun has a nice singing voice", she thought smiling. This sight is what Sasuke walked in on.

Sasuke's jaw hit the floor, he could not believe what he was seeing. His eyes narrowed so small that he had difficulty seeing through Sakura's damn long girly eyelashes. For the first time in his life, Sasuke felt something snap and was having great difficulty in not choking someone to death. The fact that she was in his body was the only thing saving Sakura Haruno from imminent doom. In that moment, "must not kill kunochi in my body," kept running through his head over and over again like it'd just become a personal mantra and his only link to sanity.

After a short mental battle, he said nothing,simply closed the door and returned to Sakura's room. He was, after all, an avenger and what an avenger did best was revenge. He grabbed a towel and walked into Sakura's bathroom shedding his clothes as he went, took an extra long time in the shower, didn't use a wash cloth or loofah opting for hands and soap instead, even though he blushed the entire time. When he returned to the room, he didn't bother to dress walking around bare naked instead, and ten minutes later, he answered the door in the same condition.

Naruto turned red as a tomato and for a moment almost seemed purple. He nose bled and everything, "perfect" Sasuke thought. Sasuke merely smirked. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NAKED, BASTARD!"  
"Shower,"Sasuke said calmly while shutting the door in Naruto's face.

Naruto ran to Sasuke's room and threw the door open before stopping at his tracks seeing Sakura finishing up the chorus line of 'Hit me Baby one more time." Naruto thought the song was rather appropriate under the circumstances. Sakura stopped as her eyes got wide as saucers.

"Please don't tell Sasuke-kun!" Sakura begged as she literally grovelled at Naruto's feet. Naruto would hold a mental picture of that one for a while. "Just thought you should know Sakura-chan, that your dear Sasuke-kun is currently walking around your room and answering your door NAKED."


	2. Chapter 2: Homecoming

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any other famous names mentioned in this story.  
*twitch*  
"WHAT!"

Sasuke heard the loud scream all the way from Sakura's room. He chuckled and put the radio on full blast on the song 'I'm a bitch' by Merideth Brooks. He simply opened her door and waited for Sakura to arrive, as he opened the window and held her beloved pink sheet set out the window as the finale to his revenge.

When Sakura arrived speedily at the room, Sasuke was singing loudly and off-key to the words but only the 'I'm a bitch' part. Sakura shrieked and slammed the door behind her in Naruto's stunned face. Her face was flushed and rage clearly written all over her. She dove for Sasuke not even stopping to worry about her damn sheet set.

Sasuke dropped the sheets and rolled out of the way. Sakura spun around and the sharingan activated automatically. Sasuke got a little nervous.

"PUT CLOTHES ON MY BODY NOW!" Sakura screamed.

Sasuke's nervousness passed, anger returning. "Do it for me, Sasuke-kun." Sasuke retorted in his most annoying voice batting Sakura's eyelashes.  
"Hn." Sakura shot back in a smart-assed tone she hoped he took for the fuck you she meant, while doing her best imitation of his death glare.  
He smirked and said loudly, "Naruto-kun, come back in here, Sakura-chan wants you!"  
Sakura stalked to the window and put her head out it, taking a deep breath," I, Sasuke Uchiha, am madly in love with Sakura Haruno, but I've been secretly having sexual fan..." she got no further, Sasuke had put Sakura's hand over her mouth and was yanking her back inside while letting out an interesting string of expletives.  
She grinned and kissed him before he could protest. "I'm in your body, Sasuke, I can get even. How bad do you really want to piss me off?" His eyes widened and then narrowed. He ran to Sakura's laptop and flipped up the screen. Seeing what Sasuke was getting ready to do with the web cam, Sakura tackled Sasuke to the floor and landed on top with a thud. Naruto spotted his teammates on the ground wrestling under the door and thought,"perfect time to change them back!"  
He began the jutsu...

Sasuke and Sakura both began to feel weird. In a second Sasuke noticed himself staring down at a wide eyed pink haired kunochi. He turned crimson as he noticed the situation. His pelvis was between her thighs and he had her hands pinned above her head and he was only in his boxers. He narrowed his eyes down at her and brought his mouth close to her ear,"nice position you've left me in, Sa-ku-ra."  
"It's your fault asshole, you were the one being a pervert prancing around NAKED in MY body!"  
"You were wet from a shower, had me only in boxers and those ridiculous socks and singing Britney Spears in MY body? I was getting even! Further more Uchihas DO NOT PRANCE!"  
She lowered her eyes and spoke in a small voice,"I'm a girl...I was only enjoying the opportunity to not have to wear a shirt. I took a shower, but I made it quick and didn't look, I used your long scrubber so i wouldn't feel what I couldn't see. It may have been embarrassing what I did, but I didn't disrespect you sexually, and you completely violated me."  
He looked as if he'd been slapped across the face. He looked down as usual but the sight of her naked brought his eyes right back up. He blushed furiously as he moved to get up. For a moment his pelvis pressed against her more firmly and Sakura let out an involuntary moan. Sasuke jumped up like he'd been burned and disappeared down the hallway stepping on Naruto's back on his way out. Naruto didn't notice the paper with the jutsu on it slip out of his pocket as he stood up.

Naruto shut Sakura's door without looking in and ran after Teme.

Sakura just layed there for a minute, red faced and fighting back the urge to cry. She couldn't get it out of her head, him standing in HER body naked, being as nasty as humanly possible and honestly she hadn't deserved it. "Bastard," she thought getting up and putting her clothes on. She looked at her desk only to find that her diary was also laying on the desk wide open. She gave up, he was a lost cause and she wasn't going to take it anymore. She didn't say a word, just walked out of the room once she'd dressed and grabbed her bag. She was headed toward the village gates.

"Baka!" Naruto raged as Sasuke hung his head sitting on his own bed. "Why did you do that to Sakura-chan? She loved you, you know and you just destroyed her again! I should beat you senseless now that you're not in her body anymore! You... Hey, where's Sakura going?" Naruto pointed out the window.

Sasuke looked and there was Sakura, walking in the direction of the gates. "Oh hell," and jumped up knocking Naruto over in the process and running down the hall. In front of Sakura's door he saw a crumpled piece of paper and picked it up frowning. Believing it to be a note from her he opened it up and skimmed the contents. 'Body Switch Jutsu', he read, in Naruto's handwriting. His head shot up and he crumpled the paper in his fist, "catch Sakura now, kill Naruto later." he thought.

Sakura stepped through the gates and wiped her eyes. She turned around and looked at the Village one last time and then with a burst of speed she took off top speed through the trees.

Sasuke cursed seeing her take off that fast. He would have to really hurry to keep up with her now. He activated his sharingan and pushed more chakra to his feet to make him move faster.

Sakura felt like she'd been running for hours. She had no more tears to shed, it was almost dark, her chakra was nearly out, and she was tired. She came to a clearing and decided to camp for the night considering she was fairly sure she wasn't going to be pursued, at least for another two days and she had a pretty good head start. She looked for Naruto and Team Kakashi (without her that is) to notice her not coming to train in the morning and as Kakashi was always late, it would probably be noon before they would even think about trying to find her. It would probably be evening before they found she wasn't in the village and decided to search. By then they'd decide to wait for the next morning rather than running at night.

Sasuke was almost out of breath when he spotted the campfire and Sakura lying on a blanket beside it. He dropped silently beside her and looked down at her not saying anything for a minute. She didn't stir, he decided to make his presence known. "Hn."

Sakura's eyes popped open at the sound and she turned around only to see feet directly between her and the fire. She followed the feet up to see a very pissed Sasuke looking down at her. She groaned and buried her head back in her small travel pillow. "Sasuke go away."  
"No."  
She punched the pillow and sat up to yell at him,"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE SASUKE! I'M TIRED OF IT!"  
"Tired of what?" his eyebrow raised.  
She jumped up and got in his face, suddenly her anger had resurfaced white hot and spurring her into action. "YOU Sasuke! Always putting me down, calling me names, treating me like dirt! Then you leave me on a bench unconscious and don't come back for years and when you do, same bullshit different day! I may have annoyed you but not intentionally! I've NEVER been anything but nice to you until this fiasco started, and never treated YOU this badly even when you tried to kill me, and what do you do? You parade me around naked, throw away my property, read my diary, were going to take a naked pic of me with my own web cam, and then you make me feel like the most unattractive thing to ever take breath by running away like that..." she finished in almost a whisper.  
She looked up at him, her eyes reflecting utter defeat, "So just leave Sasuke, you've proven your point, you got your revenge. I get it, I'm weak, and you'll never think of me as anything but weak and useless. Now leave me alone so I can figure out where the hell I go from here since up till a little while ago my entire existence was dedicated to your sorry ass even when you weren't there."  
"Sakura..."  
"Oh just shut up Sasuke. I've heard enough crap out of you to last a life time. Save it for someone who cares! Honestly, I didn't say any of that for sympathy, not that you are capable of it. Heaven forbid the almighty Sasuke Uchiha should actually have an emotion other than hate. Just leave me alone!" she pleaded the last part.  
He stood there silent, sure that a single syllable uttered by him would only lead to more of a tirade from her. She huffed and layed back down, turning away from him, her actions dismissing him completely.

Inside he groaned, great, now he was going to have to do some serious ass kissing to get her to go peacefully back to the Village to avoid the trouble that would land on his head for this. He started by laying down behind her, she stiffened and moved further away from him. "Get your own bed Sasuke."  
He felt bile rise in his throat at what he was going to have to say. He scooted toward her and wrapped an arm around her stopping her effectively from moving away. He leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "I'm sorry."  
She started to turn toward him to blast him with wrath at his pathetic excuse to make up for his actions, but his lips were still right there and in the process, her lips connected with his in total accident. Both were so shocked that neither thought to break the contact. Her shock wore off faster.

Sakura couldn't believe it. Sasuke Uchiha was kissing her! Her! Her inner sang with happiness but her inner and body were waging a battle with her hurt heart and pissed off brain. Her inner won and she decided to play get even and licked his lips. Sasuke gasped and she took advantage to slip her tongue in between his lips. After a couple of seconds he melted into it and in a few more seconds he was joining in. She turned her body completely toward him not realizing her hands were gripping his head and his arm was squeezing her to him in a similar way.

After a couple of minutes, they broke apart panting. Sasuke was looking at her with pure fire in his eyes. She was hoping that was passion and not explosive anger she was seeing as there were no witnesses around. His one hand was clenched into a fist as if he was fighting the urge to do something. She smiled at him and pushed him on his back straddling his hips. He looked up at her surprised as she kissed him yet again. He growled and flipped her over onto her back, taking command. ".Sakura." He said in between kisses.  
She laughed at his curse running her hands down his back and onto his buttocks. He jerked as if he'd been shot and pressed further down on her. He groaned and knew he'd lost the battle. The rest was so fast in a way it was a bit of a blur, clothing shed, moist heat, and fire licking through both their veins. He couldn't stop now if he wanted to, she was just as lost.

Sasuke layed next to Sakura, her head on his chest. He was staring up at the canopy of trees and the stars that they surrounded. Honestly, after it was done, he didn't know what to do. He hadn't meant to...he couldn't even think it..."just say it damn it" he thought irritated with his inner shyness even with himself. He hadn't meant to have sex with Sakura, and it was confusing. He did feel like he might love her, but he wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of what love even was after all he'd been through. How could he make her any promises, his brow furrowed in confusion and self recrimination. Sakura watched his brow furrow as he was deep in thought, she knew he was giving himself a mental smackdown for what they'd done. She sighed and rolled over on the pillow to give him his space. "Men," she thought as she closed her eyes. Then she felt his arm come across her from behind. How that rotten man kept getting her forgiveness for anything and everything he did, said, or tried to do was beyond her. She smiled and fell asleep, resolving herself to the fact that no matter what the asshole did, she would never stop loving him.

On the way back to the village the next morning, Sasuke finally felt like he had to talk to her about what happened, before Naruto or that perv Kakashi would be close enough to hear.  
"Sakura," he began, rather timidly for his usual tone. "I'm not sure that I'll be able to give you what you want..." he blushed," love I mean. Just really not sure what it is anymore."  
She stopped walking and simply looked at him, he looked away from her direct look and a speck of color came to his cheeks. She simply said, "I can show you."

He smiled, remembering her words from a long time ago, about how she'd make him happy. Sakura was stunned at an actual smile from Sasuke and stared, cursing fate that she hadn't brought her camera. He looked away again, blushing, but then took her hand in his.

He was willing to try, it was a start, they continued their leisurely walk back to the village, hand in hand.


	3. Chapter 3: Epilogue

Epilogue:  
Sasuke had told Sakura about Naruto's jutsu upon arrival back in Konoha. Of course, normally, Naruto would have a knot on his head, but seeing that Sasuke still had a certain piece of paper with a Body Switch Jutsu on it in his possession, Sasuke and his new girlfriend, Sakura, decided that Naruto should spend a couple of days as a squirrel. Needless to say, Naruto learned his lesson. Especially when Sasuke was in a mood to go squirrel hunting. Of course, Sakura had to get in on that one and they made it a date.

There were however ramifications. Kakashi was walking in the park just in time to see a squirrel running past him screaming,"Don't hurt me Teme!" in a small voice as Sasuke and a laughing Sakura chased it and for some reason Naruto was up a tree eating acorns. He silently put his Icha Icha in his bag and walked himself to the Konoha psychiatric ward. He really did need a vacation. 'Damn kids,' He thought irritably.

In the ruins of the Akatsuki base...  
Madara Uchiha had prepared everything. He'd taken his time and finally his jutsu was ready. He began the jutsu and in moments, the newly resurrected Akatsuki member was staring at him expectantly.  
"Madara. What means this?"  
"Hello, Itachi. I have a job for you."  
"Hn." Madara never saw the attack coming, in less than five seconds, Madara was dead, his eyeballs removed, and Amaratseu consuming his corpse. Itachi looked at the flames and the body of his old mentor, "I've done your dirty work enough, old man." With that, the newly revived Akatsuki member walked out of the lair and in the direction of Konoha. Time to see how his Otoutou was doing since his planned demise.  



	4. Chapter 4: Bonus Songfic chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, squirrels, Ray Stevens, this song(Mississippi Squirrel Revival), or the state Mississippi.

This chapter is a songfic, it's a rewrite of my version of the Ray stevens song. Everyone's OOC and it has the usual dose of insanity in it beings I wrote it

Well thanks to a jutsu called Body Switch Naruto has a tail and a little nose to twitch Kakashi ended up in a psychiatric ward Naruto was in trees a climbin free as a song; One day It happened And Sasuke was going to catch himself a squirrel.

Well they ran him down for a few blocks, and punched a few trees down when he wouldn't stop; Naruto disappeared inside the Church.  
he sat down on the very last pew "Sasuke I will hide from you",  
But Sasuke came in and things went totally Buzzerk.

Well what happened next is hard to tell;  
Some thought it was Heaven others thought It was Hell, but the fact that something was Among them was plain to see.  
As the choir sang " Kami help us all"  
the Squirrel ran up Tsunade's coveralls, and Baa-chan leaped to her feet and said something's got A hold on me yeeeooow!

The day the squirrel went buzzerk in the First Konoha Church in that sleepy little Town of Konoha .It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews And shoutin' "Hallelujah!".

Well Tsunade hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'.  
Some thought she had Religion others thought she had a demon, and Tsunade thought she had a Weed-eater loose in her fruit-of-the-looms.  
She fell to her knees to plead and beg,  
and the Squirrel ran out of her britchy-leg; unobserved To the otherside of the room.

All the way down to the AMEN pew, where sat that lazy Shikamaru,  
who had been thinking,"how troublesome for me."  
But shoot, you should have seen the look in his eyes When that squirrel jumped from him and onto Ino's Thighs.  
And she jumped to her feet and said,  
"Shika-kun get this rat off me!"  
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,  
She began to cry and then to confess To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.

She told of gossip and Konoha dissention,  
But the thing that got the most attention Is when she talked about her love life Then she started naming names!

The day the squirrel went berserk.  
In the First Konoha Church Of that sleepy little town of Konoha.  
It was a fight for survival,  
That broke out in revival.  
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!

Well Sasuke caught that squirrel and Konoha was saved,  
While Grandma Tsunade ranted and raved.  
And Ino swore revenge on Naruto on the spot.  
They held an instant meeting,  
Based around Naruto beating.  
And that's how squirrel hunting season in Konoha got it's start.

The day the squirrel went berserk.  
In the First Konoha Church Of that sleepy little town of Konoha.  
It was a fight for survival,  
That broke out in revival.  
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah! 


End file.
